Opinion article by Duke of Shomolu, Joseph Edgar
I was broke this week. As in flat broke and I shouted. I always shout when stuff happens to me.
Then I said, I will be back by Monday but yesterday I bounced back. I saw N4.5m, was I happy?
No. The prospect of life in this country is getting bleaker by the day. Did you see the budget?
The Government is borrowing far more than it is earning meaning that inflation, job losses and food security will be on the upbeat.
For the first time in a long while, I’m scared. Really worried and with these three people lining up to take over, there is really no hope.
Seriously as I write this morning it is with a heavy heart. I am quickly allowing myself this moment of despair because by the time I go for my usual morning walk, the adrenaline will flow in and my famous optimistic approach to life will take over.
So, for now, let me join the multitude in their sack cloths and despair.
Now, I feel envy for those who have run away and even more for those who have passed on.
Yes because it’s better to ho than to turn your back on the country of your birth. Your Nigeria and my Nigeria.
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What kind of country is this? The more money you make, the more you fall into despair. What of those who can’t even make a farthing, how do they even cope?
Life is dreary and sad. Now I understand suicide. Its beginning to look like a beautiful exit especially when a man looks at his children and realise that he has failed in the natural social contract.
Is there any hope? I think not because we are still relying on politicians to find a way out of a problem they enjoy putting us in.
My heart is heavy as I lay on my couch. I have no urge to indulge in my morning pastime of watching porn. I really just feel like laying here with the heavy stone on my chest hoping that it will crush me.
I make money. I have money. I have friends and a proactive network so why am I feeling this way.
I have not had this sinking feeling that I am having now for years. I just feel empty and insecure. Fearful and open.
Like I am swimming naked in a sea of sharks waiting and ready to be eaten alive. I hope it’s a female shark that devours me at least she will eat me with motherly affection. It’s sick and sickening.
The Nigeria of my dreams is now littered with rapists and cultists. This is a hell hole and we all are sucked into it.
’Mbok’ let me rant, its an exit. It will help my mental health as it gives me the opportunity to recoil and push back.
When I stand up, I will be me again but for now allow my weakness.
Allow me moan and cry in the darkness that is in my soul this morning.
Thank you
*Read more of this writings on my new blog -* dukeofshomolujounal.com
Thanks
*Duke of Shomolu*
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